believe

I used to listen to music, I mean really listen to music. I used to spend many hours locked in my room with the music loud pressing the rewind button on my favorite song. I would memorize the lyrics, dissect them, try to figure out what the lyricist was really saying, and then relate it to my own life.

I think I stopped listening and just started hearing. I think I hear music and enjoy it, sing along to it. But it's been a while since I've really listened to a song. I guess music has just filled space in my mind. When I listen now I just listen and stop thinking I haven't allowed songs to inspire me to think.

I was driving home today. And on Highway 50 I heard a song for the first time. "Believe" by The Bravery. I didn't just hear the song but I listened for the first time in a long while.

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breath
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

The chorus made me stop and think. Lately I've just been living, living just to breath. I have stopped being intentional in my thoughts. I've just been going through the motions. I don't want to live just to breath. How meaningless, how boring. But unlike the lyricists I have something to believe in. God. I haven't stopped believing, it's just been a while since I have let him consume me. I have gotten caught up with a teething almost seven month old and have stopped pursuing my relationship with God. I think I will stop that. And start to pursue or allow God to pursue me.

Do you need something to believe?